Raising a Martial Artist

When Liv was five…so roughly seven years ago…I got a call from the mom of her BFF from the cradle, who wanted to know if she wanted to try a TaeKwonDo class.  The extent of my knowledge about martial arts was limited to images of Mr. Miyagi catching a fly with chopsticks and teaching a student about the wisdom of life whilst assuming the pose of a crane to eventually beat the bad guy.  My initial thought about enrolling Liv was somewhere between a whine and a sigh, simply because I didn’t really want to entertain adding another thing to the schedule.  Yet, Liv was somewhat painfully shy and timid, so the gut instinct that it may help her come out of her shell won over the trepidation and we took her off to Omaha Blue Waves for her first class.  I also knew that her friend Morgan was my secret weapon….if Morgan did it, she would do it.  I had no idea that it would become so formative for her. 

Not long after stepping into Omaha Blue Waves, we knew that their philosophy was what jived in many ways with our philosophy about raising our kids, and we have the Helaney family to thank for sticking to their guns in staying true to their beliefs of what their school should be.  There were no contracts, no guarantees of getting x number of belts in x number of months.  The expectation was that the kids would be challenged to learn, discover and grow through successes and failures.  They would be taught about precision in the art and pride in doing their best.  They would be taught the tenets of courtesy, integrity, perseverance, self-control, and an indomitable spirit.  They would exercise respect for each other—younger and older classmates-- and they would be expected to learn from each other and eventually help to pass that knowledge along to others.  Liv was too young at that age to decide why she was doing it or how long she would want to commit to the journey.  We didn’t know how long she would stick with it.  A black belt was not the goal; we knew if that did happen, at her school, it would literally be YEARS down the road near her teenage years. 

Eventually, as the years passed, she began driving her own path and setting her own goals. She has put in extra hours on demonstration and tournament teams which has fueled her growth so much.  Today, she tested for and earned her first degree black belt.  Her personal journey is not mine to tell; I can only share my perspective as a parent.  What I do know is that it has been a joy to watch her transform, develop focus, self-discipline, strength and courage.  I know for a fact that I never would have had the bravery to stand out there today and do what she and the other candidates did.  My once extremely timid and soft-spoken five-year-old, though still a quiet and contemplative soul, now steps onto the mat with confidence and poise and enjoys helping to teach others the art.  She is developing strength, grace and oh so much character through this journey, which has only just begun.  She is part of a community of respect and integrity, sharing moments with classmates from the age of three to…well, let’s just say adults.  She has a band of high-school “brothers” who help to bring out the best in her.  She has a group of amazing adult women who are role models for strength and hard work.  She is surrounded by a group of peers and instructors who are very diverse in so many ways but quite honestly don’t even notice it except to realize that they each bring different gifts to the table.  I am thankful for this family outside of her school that teach her so many valuable lessons. 

The girl worked her heart out today for over four hours with no guarantee that she would pass her test, but I was so proud of her the moment she stepped on the mat because of how far she has come, how much she has developed, and how much she will continue to grow if she so chooses.  The black belt, the board breaks, the forms, her strength…that was just icing on the cake.  I couldn’t feel more grateful for that call many years ago asking if we wanted to give TKD a try…or happening upon a school that has truly cared enough to be formative for this beautiful soul who is feeling such a sense of accomplishment today.

And last, but not least, I am so very grateful to her tribe of friends, who helped us truly surprise her at the end of a long day.  It was the best 30 seconds of my week.  See the vid and try not to smile.  This is what selfless friendship looks like.  J

Cheers to you, Livvy Lu!  You are welcome to accompany me down a dark alley anytime.