Tears, Laughter, Love and Microsoft Word

Today was a doozy. Started out that way. Nearly ended that way.


Started out with 4 1/2 hours of sleep. That was enough in itself.


Work ate me alive in terms of busy-ness and emotions. As many of you know, I coordinate patient care for Nebraska's dedicated HIV clinic at UNMC. I am passionate for my job--a passion which often leads to joy and heartache many times throughout the day. The concentration of my efforts today was on one of our fairly newly diagnosed patients---seven months my elder---who is a wonderfully kind, young man (I refuse to call him middle-aged, as that would put me in that same category). He is seriously ill and may be fighting the fight of his life---for his life. I hope we both live to celebrate our 33rd birthdays in 2009.


Needless to say, I came home with a migraine. Picked Camille up from Camp. Inevitably, she slept on the way home for 45 minutes, which translated into a very unsuccessful attempt at co-napping for mom and aforementioned daughter upon arriving home. Surrendered, albeit with a less severe headache, and headed to K4J to pick up Liv. Refused to attempt meal-making. Picked up less-than-satisfactory yet somehow too expensive supper at Culver's. Dad working all night. Fed girls. Bathed girls. In poor judgement, attempted to multitask by watching girls and listening in on ROP teleconference at same time. Note to self: never do this again; it is dangerous and the girls end up eating too much candy somehow.


In a small miraculous feat, girls end up in bed, but not sleeping. Oh, and Liv was in my bed, not hers. And Camille was in bed, out of bed, in bed, out of bed. Wanted to use the potty, but only because it got her out of bed. Has figured out that the longer she sits on the potty without peeing, the longer she stays out of bed.


Dad arrives home (Hallelujah chorus #1). Mom bursts into tears..exhaustion?? Dad takes over with retucking everyone in bed. Mom crawls into bed with HP Pavilion dv1000 laptop.


And then.....


Knock, knock. Guess who??? Yep, my nightime wanderer. With Daddy. She had come to tell me that she had not only sat on the potty, but actually pee-peed in it (Hallelujah chorus #2).


And then......


She sees my computer. Ah....let the games begin.


Camille loves her letters. In itself, it is amazing that she can even see them to know them as she has a significant visual impairment. But for kicks, we appease and set the font to 90- point Times New Roman and she begins to request her favorite words:




"Do you want to spell mommy? M-O-M-M-Y!!"


"C is for Camille"


"Can we spell Daddy?"


"Want to spell Aunt Sissy?"


"Let's write P.J."


And then she actually dictated to us the spelling of her Aunt Carol's name so we could type it out for her. What???!! She remembered how to spell this?


"A is for Al" (her favorite preschool van-driver).



And all of the time, she giggles and laughs and hugs and asks for more and gets so darn excited, she almost pees her pull-up, which if you are following, is certainly not the goal at present.

So....my thoughts. I am overjoyed at this moment, and I know that my day has ended on a high note. Not because she actaully peed in the potty, though I admit this was a perk. Not because she sees her letters, because with this girl reading 72 or 90 point type, Braille is bound to be her main medium.

Nope. My joy has two big roots:

1) This little girl loves the written word in it's various forms. She doesn't go a day without asking for her favorite books several times. She knows all of her letters in print and can spell some simple words to boot. She recognizes many names---of people, of days of the week---by sight---which I think is pretty spectacular for any child, much more for a child who has overcome so much and has yet to turn four. She calls to me from her bed, asking, "Mommy??? You wanna go read July in Braille?" (referring to the print/braille wall calendar outside of her room). And she is laughing, giggling and asking for more, more, more. I feel like this is one thing we are actaully doing right. Ever since Camille was diagnosed with ROP, I vowed that I would do everything I could to give this girl the foundation to love literacy---in whatever form her little eyes or fingers would allow. And she is obsessed with it. At the age of four-minus-a few-days. She loves the foundation skills she will need to read in both print and braille---WHEEEE---which means the wheels are turning---which is a dream-come-true for my preemie-mom heart.



2) More importantly, this girl loves and feels love and loves to love and feel loved. Look at these pictures with her daddy. This joy in loving is a dream-come-true for my preemie-mom heart.


So, I guess you can sign me up for another day after all.