Good-bye

Everyone in the O'Neill house was "off" today.

I actually wanted to steam clean the dining room carpet. And then felt adaze the rest of the day.

Bill was somber.

Livvy was whiny. Really whiny. Can't-stand-to-be-with-her-in-the-same-room-for-too-long whiny. Cried -for- five- minutes- when -I-accidently -flushed-the-potty-for-her-instead-of letting-her-do-it-whiny.

Camille was just naughty. Usually, she is not a naughty girl. But she was today. She had four---count them, 1-2-3-4, full-blown tantrums. Screaming at us. Flailing. Turning red the in the face. The kind where, as parents, all you can do is laugh because it is just so bizarre.

The reality is, we all felt the undercurrent.

Beth came to say good-bye today.

And all I felt was a hurt in my heart. We've known for two months that she is off to Wisconsin. I've already cried tears. But the thing is, today is different. Today, it's really real. If I call her Omaha home, no one will answer. If I email her, she will no longer have an mpsomaha.org address. And worst of all, when I go to school to see Camille, Beth won't be the Teacher of the Visually Impaired who is with her.

And now, seven hours after she came to say good-bye, the tears are starting to flow. And they won't stop. It is real. And we miss her already.

Beth gave Camille the best going away present that Camille could have ever hoped for. They read "Green Eggs and Ham" together.

It was the only time all day that Camille was her usual, giddy, happy-go-lucky self.

And so we wish our Beth well. And we secretly--selfishly--wish she were ours to keep. But, life is life, and she is not ours to have.

So, I cry myself to sleep because we will miss her so.